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The Amsterdam Poop
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Here's the story. Over the Thanksgiving holiday I went to Europe with my girlfriend. Amsterdam was our last stop. Despite my best attempts to empty my bowels in Iceland and England, I could produce nothing. However, after a wonderful dinner at a pancake house, my innards began to churn. I sat on the toilet in Hotel Arena (outside the main downtown area in Amsterdam) and hoped for mercy. The enormous mass of fecal matter that was born that day took no pity on my anus. I bled. It was all for your amusement.
Well, as long as I'm here I'll go ahead and note the finer points of this movement, like always. The true essence of the poop is its brutish size. Note also the texture change from lump conglomeration to satiny smoothness.
A note about the toilet that this poop was taken in: I love shelf style toilets! They allow a true view to the feces that standard American models cannot. If I had a shelf style toilet the pictures I produced for this site would be even better than they currently are. Someone really ought to send me one. So all you bathroom contractor types out there enjoying this site, get out and do something for me!
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